


The Morning After

by nanuk_dain



Series: Drift Compatible [38]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Arguments, Cuddling, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, PBC (Post-Breach-Collapse), early morning conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: Chuck learns that early morning conversations are rarely easy - or pleasant.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my, I'm SO SORRY it took me almost _a year_ to update! o_O I began studying for a master's degree and I can tell you, it sucks up my entire time... like an airplane toilet - *slurp* and it's gone... So please accept my sincere apologies for pulling a Yancy on you (= still alive, but unable to communicate - pretty much describes the past year for me... -_- ).

_Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 19th 2025_

 

The world comes into focus rather slowly. The first thing Chuck becomes aware of is the heat pressed along his entire back. It takes him a moment to realise that it's Raleigh who's cuddled up behind him, his injured left arm carefully slung around Chuck's waist, his leg thrown over Chuck's. His nose is buried against Chuck's neck and he can feel his warm breath tickle the little hairs on the base of his skull. 

For a moment Chuck just remains where he is, not moving safe for opening his eyes just to let them flutter shut again. The faint light tells him it's still early, no need to get up just yet. It takes him a second to remember that they're in his quarters, not Raleigh's room in the med bay. That brings back the memories of last night and consequently the two horrible days before that. Chuck wriggles a bit in unease at those memories, they still make him feel queasy. Honestly, he can't remember the last time he felt that shitty - it doesn't compare at all to physical injuries or anything else he can come up with to describe the feeling to somebody who has never experienced a perfect match connection. 

Chuck feels Raleigh's arm tighten around him as if he feels Chuck's unease. Chuck lets himself be pulled closer to the living furnace that is Raleigh Becket and wonders why _he_ is the little spoon. He's just as tall as Raleigh, after all. Okay, so maybe Raleigh has an inch on him. Not that he's complaining, he quite likes the way Raleigh's wrapped around him like an octopus that has no intention of letting go. He likes how the physical contact amplifies the mental connection of their ghost drift, now that it's finally open and working again. The last two days have been a nightmare, and Chuck shivers just at the thought of it. He has still not entirely forgiven Raleigh for cutting him off like that, especially since it was for no good reason other than it being a reflex. And Chuck is still angry at Yancy for dumping the task of revealing his continued existence to Raleigh on Chuck, the innocent bystander.

That train of thoughts causes Chuck to suddenly feel restless, and he turns around in Raleigh's embrace - very careful to not upset Raleigh's injured left shoulder - and props himself up on his elbow so that he can look at Raleigh. What he sees makes it difficult to remain angry at him. Raleigh looks better than he did when he showed up at his door last night - for a while there Chuck was seriously worried that he might keel over - but there are still dark smudges underneath his eyes and even asleep he looks exhausted. It's obvious that the last two days took their toll on him too, and Chuck finds that he only wants to make it better, no matter that Raleigh caused a great deal of that pain himself.

Chuck huffs out an only halfway amused laugh. He's turning into a sentimental fool where Raleigh is concerned. He's well aware he wouldn't have let anybody else get away with it as easily as Raleigh did. Chuck is famous for holding his grudges - just ask his dad -, especially when somebody really hurt him, yet here he is, longing to make Raleigh feel better even after the misery Raleigh made him live through. Not only that, instead of making Raleigh pay for hurting him like he should have, Chuck goes and confesses his love at the first occasion. 

Come on, it has been just _seventeen days_ \- not that he's counting or anything - since he met Raleigh. That's barely over two weeks. And here he is, telling the guy he loves him after said guy just tortured him for two days for something that wasn't even his fault. He's like a love sick puppy. It's pathetic, really. He should probably get himself a t-shirt saying 'Chuck Hansen turned into a teenage girl'. 

Now, with a clear head and in the soft light of the early morning, Chuck feels a bit embarrassed for his sudden confession. Still, he meant it and he won't take it back. It's also very reassuring that he knows the feeling is mutual. Raleigh held nothing back last night, he let it all show, sending his feelings freely over their re-established ghost drift. He was like an open book, he _wanted_ Chuck to know. It still amazes Chuck how open Raleigh is with his feelings - well, as long as it doesn't concern Yancy.

Chuck raises his hand and slowly trails his fingertips over Raleigh's forehead, along his left eyebrow, down his cheek and along the strong line of his jaw, always following the slowly fading bruises. Raleigh reacts to the gentle touch immediately, a soft smile coming to his lips before he shuffles closer to Chuck. He doesn't wake, though, his breathing remains even and deep, his body relaxed. Chuck knows from before Operation Pitfall that Raleigh is a light sleeper, and that the fact that he doesn't wake up is to a huge part due to the strong meds he's on. He knows that Raleigh has problems regaining focus upon waking, and that he has lapses in his short time memory, especially in the mornings. It always takes him a while to remember where he is and what happened, everything from Pitfall to the previous evening. It worries Chuck. Doc Nash and Caitlin Lightcap agree that it's a mixture of the meds and possible neural damage from his second time driving solo, and that there's a chance that it'll get better with time, especially when Raleigh can finally stop taking those meds. 

Chuck really hopes they're right. He feels how much Raleigh hates the disorientation, the fact that he's not sure it'll ease, the worry that he might not be able to pilot a Jaeger again when the time comes. He deals with his other, purely physical injuries much better than with the mental ones. In fact, Doc Nash told them that Raleigh would be discharged tomorrow, his condition stable enough that he should slowly try to get back to his normal life. Chuck pointedly refrained from asking what qualifies as 'normal' around here. He's sure definitions vary. At least the Doc allowed light physical training, but with the strict order to keep it _light_ , reminding Raleigh that it would take quite a while to get back to his previous strength, flexibility and range of motion. Chuck is sure that he didn't imagine the warning glance she threw Chuck, as if he would be the one to overdo it with Raleigh. It's clear she'll hold Chuck accountable for Raleigh's well-being just as much as Raleigh himself. Chuck still can't decide whether he should feel offended or honoured.

So, tomorrow they'll finally be out of the med bay. It's been long enough, and Chuck can't wait to leave it behind. That reminds him that they should probably get back there before the nurses call out a Shatterdome-wide search for their missing patient Raleigh Becket. The fact that nobody came knocking yet makes Chuck think that Mako probably took care of it and informed the med bay. She knew that Chuck and Raleigh had some... well, _issues_ to work through, and he knows her well enough that he's sure she checked where both of them were after talking to them. 

The thought of the med bay reminds Chuck that his dad is still in the drift with Pentecost - at least he was last time Chuck checked. He resolves to go to the drift lab this morning to find out how his dad is doing once he gets Raleigh back to the med bay. Maybe his old man has woken up by now. Maybe he even has good news.

Chuck lets his fingers card through Raleigh's sleep-tousled hair while thinking about all the things he'll have to do today. Around noon that reporter is supposed to come by to interview him and Raleigh about Operation Pitfall. Yesterday Tendo told Chuck about her making the rounds and getting interviews with all the pilots as well as some other personnel. Chuck is not looking forward to it, but he knows there's no way around it. So, yes, he knows how to play the press - he's been in the spotlight since he was sixteen years old, after all - but that doesn't mean that he likes it. And it's a totally different thing to be interviewed after a victory over the most recent Kaiju or to be a sitting duck in a hospital bed. Okay, so it's Raleigh's hospital bed and not his, but still. He doesn't like it.

On top of that, he doesn't think that Raleigh is up for getting grilled by the press. Not only is he physically still far away from recovery, but the thing with Yancy hit him hard. Really hard, in the place where it hurts most. His reaction to learning about Yancy hanging around shows that more clearly than any words could have. And while Raleigh and Chuck may have made up, Chuck knows that the topic is not off the table yet. Not at all. There's going to be more friction where Yancy and his involuntary residency inside Raleigh's head are concerned, he's sure of that. And Chuck resolves to kick Raleigh's arse real hard if he even comes close to cutting him off again. He won't allow Yancy to come between them just because he happens to be stuck in Raleigh's head. 

"You're brooding." Raleigh mumbles from where he's cuddled up against Chuck's chest, his voice rough with sleep. His fingers begin to draw a slow pattern on Chuck's skin where his left hand is resting against Chuck's chest. His eyes are still closed, and he's making no move to roll away from Chuck.

"Sorry I woke you." Chuck bends down to press a kiss to Raleigh's temple and enjoys the smile that comes to Raleigh's lips in response. The ghost drift tells him that Raleigh is comfortable and not quite awake yet, just enjoying the pleasant laziness of the moment. He's also gathering his floating and disseminated memories to regain his bearings, to remember where he is and how he got here. The only thing he never needs to check is his connection to Chuck, it seems to be the one thing not affected by his memory lapses. He just always recognises Chuck and the bond, probably because it's an active, ongoing sensation. Chuck hasn't given it too much thought, he doesn't question the good things any longer. He simply appreciates them.

"What were you brooding about?" Raleigh asks quietly, his breath a warm tickle against Chuck's throat.

For a moment Chuck is considering to evade the question, or at least to leave out the part about Yancy, because he really _really_ doesn't want to a repeat of last time. But he figures that they'll get to this point again pretty soon, so it's better to face the issue head on, right now, right here, and get it out of the way. See if both he and Raleigh really did learn their lesson.

"I was thinking about the past two days. You. Yancy. This whole messed up situation." Chuck admits quietly. He's nervous because he's not sure how Raleigh will react, but he's also determined to see it through.

Raleigh's fingers still against Chuck's skin, his body tenses and suddenly he's fully awake. Mentioning Yancy seems to have the effect of a bucket of ice water on him, in body and mind, Chuck thinks with a sigh. But Chuck also notices that the mental shields don't come up when he mentions Yancy. They flicker, but they don't fully establish. He can tell that Raleigh is making a conscious effort to keep them down, to keep the ghost drift open and his mind unshielded. Then Raleigh's fingers begin to move again, taking up the mindless pattern they were drawing on Chuck's chest before Yancy's name came up. Chuck feels goosebumps spread all over his body, caused not only by the light touch but also by the sudden anticipation of Raleigh's reaction.

"I still want to punch him, you know." Raleigh remarks dryly, and Chuck is sure he's not imagining the anger he can hear in his voice because he can actually feel it over the ghost drift as well. _That_ he didn't expect. Chuck is glad when Raleigh continues talking because he really doesn't know what to say right now. "He overstepped his boundaries when he shared my memories of the hospital with you. Protective big brother or not, he had no right to hurt you like that. Especially because he must have known what it would do to you."

There's still anger simmering in Raleigh's voice, and his words are clipped. Chuck wonders if maybe Yancy's actions pushed him off the mental pedestal Raleigh had put him on ever since his death. Made him human again in Raleigh's mind, not just a symbol of Raleigh's failure. 

"Don't get me wrong, I love him and I always will, but he tends to go too far when he thinks he has to protect me." Raleigh grumbles. "Drove me nuts for years."

"I can't say I know the feeling, being an only child, but isn't that the job of an older brother?" Chuck asks with a smirk, trying to ease the tension. "Driving the younger siblings nuts?"

An involuntary smile tugs on Raleigh's lips. "I guess so."

"I know why you're angry, Rals, but you've got to see it from his perspective, too." Chuck can't quite believe he's defending Yancy, but he knows he has to. Raleigh doesn't remember Yancy's haunted eyes when he talked about the time he watched Raleigh in the hospital after Knifehead, but Chuck does. And even if he can't say he appreciates what Yancy did to him, Chuck understands why he did it. "He didn't know if he was ever going to get another chance. It might have been the only time he could communicate. You know, the only chance to protect you from ever reaching that point again."

Raleigh is quiet for a long time, his eyes searching Chuck's. His palm is resting against Chuck's chest, all movement stilled, but the pressure is still firm. His hand feels warm on Chuck's skin that is chilled from the cool air in the quarters. Chuck feels the turmoil in Raleigh's mind over the ghost drift, a feeling here and an image there, too quick to grasp.

"He _hurt_ you. _Intentionally_." Raleigh says finally, his gaze hard and his voice pressed as if he's holding back to keep from shouting. Chuck feels a shiver run down his back. This is a side of Raleigh he hasn't seen so far. It shows how dangerous he can be, that his friendliness will end the second he sees the people he cares about being threatened. It's intensely possessive and... _protective_. Never mind his battered and banged up condition, never mind that he can't actually do anything about it because he can't even talk to Yancy. He's _still_ protective of Chuck. 

Chuck swallows against the strange feelings that course through him. He's not used to anybody being protective of him. He's always fought his own battles, and when his dad tried to stand in, Chuck chased him away with sharp, biting comments that he aimed to hurt. He's not weak, he can fight for himself, he doesn't need anybody to do it for him. But with Raleigh, he knows that he doesn't stand a chance. Raleigh can't be chased away, _won't_ be, and he'll be protective of Chuck, no matter if Chuck approves or not. It takes a while to accept that fact, to accept that somebody lays the exact same claim on him that he lays on them. Raleigh will be just as protective of Chuck as Chuck knows he is of Raleigh. It's a two-way street. 

Equals. Partners. The foundation of a perfect match. 

Oh man, it's too early for earth-shattering revelations. He hasn't even had any coffee yet. Chuck licks his dry lips and nods slowly, forcing his thoughts back to the conversation at hand. "He did. Hurt me. But I don't resent him for it, Rals. In fact, I think he did me a favour. Made me realise things I might have denied - ignored - for a long time otherwise. We both know I can be stubborn, and that goes for ignoring things, too."

Raleigh's lips are pressed into a thin line, but Chuck can see in his eyes that he knows Chuck is right.

"We probably wouldn't be here right now if he hadn't, you know, hit me over the head with you memories." Chuck admits with an uneasy shrug. He never liked admitting his faults. "You'd be wallowing in misery in the med bay because I never opened the door, and I'd be provoking fights until somebody took me out for good."

"Yeah. Probably." Raleigh agrees reluctantly after a few seconds of tense silence. Then he takes a deep breath and lets it escape in a long sigh. Chuck can feel it calming his mind, can feel how the ghost drift calms down along with it. Another breath, and another. After a minute or two, Raleigh turns his head towards Chuck and holds his gaze, offering a little smile. "Thank you, Charlie."

Chuck smiles and lets his fingers card through Raleigh's messy hair. "You're welcome."

There's a moment of silence, not exactly peaceful but not tense either, something like a transition, a moment to sort through their thoughts, put them in order and store them where they belong. Raleigh has closed his eyes, his expression a lot more relaxed than a few minutes ago, his hand still settled against Chuck's chest as if he needs to retain the physical connection.

"We need to be in the med bay by noon when that lady reporter comes by today." Chuck says after a few minutes, making it a point to change the topic. 

"Right, the interview." Raleigh opens his eyes again and turns his head enough to be able to look up at Chuck. "Do you know who the reporter is?" 

"Ahhhh..." Chuck frowns in concentration, trying to remember the name. "I don't quite recall what Tendo said. Some lady with a Russian surname. Sa... So... Soko-something, I think."

Raleigh raises an eyebrow. "Sokolov, perhaps? Naomi Sokolov?"

"Yes, that's it!" Chuck beams, then he realises something is off. "How do you know that? You weren't there when Tendo told me."

Raleigh shrugs, and Chuck can't help noticing that he's still doing it only with the uninjured shoulder. "I know her. From way back, before she became a journalist."

Chuck feels there's more to it. "Care to elaborate?"

"She was a Jaeger Fly. Stuck around the pilot hangouts and well, you know, tried to get somebody famous." Raleigh says after a moment. Chuck already doesn't like that chick. He's never been fond of Jaeger Flies. "She also hit on Yancy and me. I kind of had a thing for her - in hindsight it was flattery more than anything. But you know how it is, you're busy with training and time passes and well... Yancy slept with her, thinking I wasn't interested anymore because I didn't mention her again. I stumbled across his memory of it in the drift during a simulation. Needless to say, we lost to the Kaiju."

Chuck squeezes Raleigh's side where his hand is resting against Raleigh's bare skin, trying to be reassuring and encouraging. He's still learning that communication-through-touch-thing, after all. Raleigh gives him a quick smile before he continues.

"I think it was the last time Yancy and I got into a real fight. I mean, fists flying and ready-to-part-ways kind of fight. We didn't have many of those, only ever the normal sibling stuff. But that one was bad. We actually got in a brawl in a bar and kind of smashed the place." Raleigh gently shakes his head as if he can't quite believe how stupid they'd been. "We had made the second cut and were literally days away from active duty. Pentecost was furious."

Chuck whistled through his teeth. "I can imagine."

He never screwed up that badly in his entire time with the PPDC - okay, he came close with that brawl with Raleigh in the hallway in front of Pentecost's office - but he's seen others on the receiving end of Pentecost's wrath. It wasn't pleasant. There's a strict rule that pilots are forbidden to get in physical fights with other pilots outside of sparring in the kwoon. It's in place to prevent injuries that might take out a pilot - and therefore, in the worst case, an entire Jaeger. Breaking that rule was always punished very harshly to drive the point home. Chuck has a good idea how angry Pentecost would have been, especially given that the reason for the brawl was a Jaeger Fly.

"It was Pentecost who set us straight again. Made it clear what we had in each other and in the PPDC, how much we had to lose. And he made us think about whether or not that girl was really worth it." Raleigh rolls onto his back and looks at Chuck. "We realised she wasn't. Both Yancy and I kept our distance from her after that. It was kind of a sore spot for quite some time, but we'd decided that the team was more important than some chick we barely even knew."

"And now she's here to interview you? Great idea, really. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound." Chuck snarls. Now he likes the upcoming interview even less than before. Who came up with the stupid idea to send _her_ , of all the journalists out there? Chuck wants to find the one responsible and give them a piece of his mind. He guesses it's either his dad, Amanda James or Tendo. A warm hand on his neck pulls him out of his growing anger and he looks down to find Raleigh's serious gaze on him.

"It's been eight or nine years, Chuck. I haven't seen her since. I just know that she became a journalist because I stumbled across the odd article she wrote. I don't really hold a grudge for what happened back then. We were all different before shit hit the fan. I'm not the same guy I was nine years ago. I doubt she's still the same person, either." 

Chuck just snorts, but doesn't say anything. Raleigh lets his fingertips caress the spot beneath Chuck's ear, knowing exactly how sensitive it is. Chuck can't help goosebumps spreading over his neck and down his arms.

"Do me a favour and don't eat her alive before she has actually said more than two words, okay? She's just doing her job - which is to present us to the world, and I'd prefer it to be in a favourable light. So give her a chance." He smirks. "If she proves to be a jerk, you can still gut her alive during the interview. I'll even watch and cheer you on."

Chuck can't help chuckling. The mischievous gleam in Raleigh's eyes is worth so much more than holding a grudge against a woman he's never even met. Still, if she does anything to upset Raleigh, he will make sure she never forgets that interview. And will consider changing professions. 

Okay, so maybe he does understand Raleigh's protectiveness, after all. Two-way street and all that.

"All right, I won't bite her head off. I'll reserve my judgement."

"I appreciate it." Raleigh retorts, the smirk still gracing his lips. "What time is it, anyway?"

Chuck stretches to grab his watch off the beside table. "Almost nine."

"Time for breakfast, then." Raleigh stretches leisurely, eyes closed and smiling, yet always favouring his shoulder. Chuck can't look away, he loves the contentedness that radiates off him in that precise moment. It almost makes him forget all the unpleasant moments of their earlier conversation. 

"Yeah. We should really get back to the med bay. I imagine they're not too pleased that you disappeared without a word."

"Probably not, no." A slightly evil smirk comes to Raleigh's face. "But when they learn that you were involved in my absence, they're not going to be very pleased with _you_ either."

"That's blackmail." Chuck complains, only half-heartedly glaring at Raleigh. He likes his playful side too much to seriously want to stifle it. _Especially_ after what they went through those past two days. 

"I know." Raleigh slowly gets up and throws Chuck a grin over his shoulder. He disappears in the bathroom and Chuck hears the water running. He smirks and follows Raleigh into the en-suite to join him in the shower. They have to keep it short because breakfast is only served til 9.30 am and their growling stomachs make it unmistakably clear that skipping breakfast in favour of shower sex is not an option. 

Chuck takes longer in the bathroom because he has to redo the bandage on his right arm, and when he comes back into the room, he sees Raleigh slowly slipping into Chuck's faded Striker-Eureka t-shirt that had ended up thrown over the back of the chair last night. He's careful not to move his bummed left shoulder too much, and Chuck can see the discoloured skin of his torso disappear underneath the worn fabric.

"Rals, why are you stealing my t-shirt?" Chuck asks with a raised eyebrow while pulling on his trousers and a fresh t-shirt.

"Revenge." Raleigh grins, pointedly tugging on the hem of the looted piece of clothing. "You stole my sweater, so I take your t-shirt."

"It's used." Chuck points out.

Raleigh just raises an eyebrow. "I know. That's the whole point."

Chuck swallows against the lump in his throat and feels his cheeks burning. He's aware of the goosebumps spreading on his neck and arms, and he suddenly gets what Raleigh must have felt like when he saw Chuck in his sweater.

Chuck licks his suddenly dry lips. It feels like a claim too know that Raleigh chooses to wear his _used_ t-shirt. It's oddly arousing. The t-shirt is a little too big on him, he's leaner than Chuck, but to Chuck that doesn't matter. He still looks incredibly hot.

"You're staring." Raleigh points out smugly while he finishes getting dressed. He knows exactly what he's doing, Chuck realises, what effect he's having on Chuck. That's the actual revenge, not stealing the t-shirt. 

"You look good in grey." Chuck makes an effort to sound casual, but he's not sure he manages. He quickly puts on his boots and then firmly walks to the door and pulls it open, ignoring his painfully hot cheeks. He knows he's blushing, and for the umpteenth time Chuck curses his complexion. "Come on now, let's get something to eat."

The soft chuckle behind him makes hot shivers course through him, but Chuck remains firm and points at the door. "Breakfast, Rals. Now."

Half an hour later they're back in the med bay, only to be greeted by the chiding gaze of the charge nurse. She orders Raleigh back into his room and informs him that Doc Nash will be with him shortly. It's clear she disapproves of Raleigh's disappearing act of last night. There will be hell to pay, and Chuck is really glad they'll be out of here by tomorrow. You should never get on the wrong side of the nursing staff.

Chuck accompanies Raleigh to his room and waits until he's sitting on his freshly made bed before he chuckles and say, "Now be a good boy and allow the nurses and the docs to poke and prod you like you know they love to do."

Raleigh just rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "And where are you going?"

"Drift lab. I want to check on my dad. See if he came out of the drift with Pentecost." Chuck explains, his fingers playing with hem of the t-shirt Raleigh stole. Raleigh really does look good in it. Okay, Chuck admits he might be biased. 

"You're worried." Raleigh says quietly, not making it a question.

"Last time I checked, he was already under for ten hours." Chuck replies instead of admitting that, yes, he is indeed worried. Raleigh knows it anyway, he can probably feel it clear as day over the ghost drift. 

"Go then, check on him. I'll be here." He leans forward and pulls Chuck close to press a kiss against his temple. 

"I'll see you later." Chuck says with a little smile before he leaves the room. He takes the fastest route to the drift lab and finds Doc Lightcap sitting in front of a row of screens showing graphs and numbers. She's bent over a tablet and murmuring to herself, a cup of coffee in her hand that she seems to have forgotten about. 

"Hey Doc." Chuck greets her and she turns around on her swivel chair at the sound of his voice.

"Hello Chuck. Are you looking for your father?" Doc Lightcap asks, not the least surprised to see him, and Chuck nods. "He's not here anymore. He came out of the drift about an hour ago."

Okay, so far, so good. If his dad walked off on his own - and more importantly, if Doc Lightcap _let_ him - then he's okay. "How long was he under?"

"Close to sixteen hours." 

Chuck whistles through his teeth. That's long, even for a perfect match. The only ones usually capable of such long drifts are the Kaidanovskys, with their record at eighteen hours. This is a close second, then.

"Physically, he and Pentecost are fine, but I had the impression your father was a bit shaken." Doc Lightcap continues and holds his gaze as if trying to make a point. "He left while Pentecost was still here in the lab after I told him I'd take care of getting the Marshal back to the medical bay."

Maybe his dad isn't _quite_ so okay. Usually he'd never have left before escorting Pentecost back to the med bay himself. There's an uneasy feeling somewhere deep in Chuck's stomach that he identifies as nagging worry. He knows Doc Lightcap shares that worry, but she knows Herc well enough to know when to leave him alone. Chuck was never that considerate, and he's not going to start now.

"Did he say anything about what happened in the drift?" Recon is always a good place to start, Chuck decides.

"No. He didn't look too good when he came out of it, so I told him to get some rest and come back when he's ready." Now she even looks worried. "I haven't heard from him since, but it's not been that long. He could be sleeping."

No, he's not sleeping, or he would have come to his and Chuck's shared quarters. Knowing that actually worsens the worry. "Do you know where he went?" 

"No, but I think he needed a moment to regroup." Doc Lightcap replies with a pointed glance. It's clear she expects him to make sure his dad is all right. 

"Okay." Chuck nods, already going through all the possible spots his dad could choose to be alone. "Thanks, Doc."

He feels her concerned gaze following him until he's out of her line of sight. Something must have happened. Question is if it's something good or something bad. It can't be too bad, nothing threatening Pentecost's well-being, or his dad would have said something to Doc Lightcap immediately. And he most certainly wouldn't have left Pentecost alone.

So, he's not in the shared quarters, or he would have run into Chuck and Raleigh this morning. And he's not in the med bay either because Pentecost was still in the drift lab by the time he left, so there would be no reason for him to go to the med bay. Meaning he's either in the kwoon, the Jaeger bay or Pentecost's office. Chuck opts to check the office first because it's closest to his current location and the best place to be left alone. 

The door to the office is firmly closed when Chuck gets there. When his dad is in, he usually adheres to Pentecost's habit of leaving the door ajar to let people know it's okay to come in. So either he's not in or he really doesn't want to be disturbed. Neither option sounds very promising.

Chuck stands in front of the metal door for a moment, wondering whether he should knock or just barge in. He doesn't want to risk giving his dad a chance to deny him entry, so he goes with a compromise that consists of not knocking, slowly pushing the door open and announcing his presence by asking, "Dad? You here?"

Chuck hears the rustling of clothes like somebody straightening followed by the familiar sound of his dad's heavy boots on the concrete floor. Chuck slides into the office and makes sure to firmly close the door behind him. Whatever is going to come next, he's sure neither he nor his dad want any witnesses.

"Hey dad." Chuck offers when he spots his dad by the desk. 

"Morning, Chuck." Herc replies evenly. His voice may sound normal, but at the sight of him Chuck suddenly understands what Doc Lightcap meant when she said his dad seemed shaken. He really doesn't look too good. There are dark circles under his eyes which could be explained by the exhaustion from a sixteen-hour drift, but there's also a kind of haunted sadness clinging to him that definitely doesn't have a physical cause. When Herc looks up and catches Chuck's gaze, Chuck feels a shiver run down his spine, and he can't even explain why.

"You okay?" Chuck blurts out before even thinking the words. He can hear the worry in his own voice. 

"Sure." His dad raises an eyebrow in surprise which makes Chuck aware that he probably wouldn't have asked that question before Operation Pitfall. But hey, and events like that, experiences like that, can change a person. Chuck knows he's still learning, still adapting, but he's definitely not the same guy anymore that he was before their attack on the Breach. It reminds him of what Raleigh said this morning about the journalist and him not being the same people anymore. He might have a point there.

"How was your drift-dream? Doc Lightcap said you were under for almost sixteen hours." Chuck strolls over to the desk, making an effort to sound casual. If his dad won't tell him directly what's wrong, then Chuck will find out by asking seemingly innocent questions.

"It went off without a hitch." His dad replies, leaning with his hip against the desk and almost suspiciously watching Chuck walk through the office until he's leaning against the desk too, a little distance away from Herc. "They're still going over the data they collected."

"So, was it anything like my experience?" Chuck turns to look at him, trying to gather from his reaction what happened.

"No, nothing like that." His dad shakes his head with an almost amused smirk. "I didn't meet any stranded drift echoes of dead people who controlled the drift, if that's what you're referring to."

"It's not the most pleasant experience." Chuck admits with a shrug, remembering Yancy's nasty habit of throwing him in highly unpleasant memories that weren't even his own. "So what did you see?"

His dad is quiet for a long time, then he sighs gently. "It's not my place to tell you, Chuck. It wasn't my dream."

"Who am I supposed to ask, then? Pentecost?" Chuck can't quite keep the provoking tone out of his voice. Some old habits die hard. "He won't remember, just like Raleigh doesn't remember."

"I know." His dad's reply is very quiet and he raises his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as if he has a headache. He suddenly seems oddly vulnerable, and it reminds Chuck of the conversation he eavesdropped on here in this very office before Operation Pitfall. When he'd seen his dad with his shields down, his exhaustion and his weariness openly visible in his face and his body language, his voice tired. As if he was carrying a heavy burden that he couldn't share with anybody. 

Chuck hated seeing him like that back then and he hates it now. He hates knowing that he's part of the reason why his dad is so exhausted. Maybe now is not the time for digging, maybe it's time to try that quiet support thing that he's read about. Chuck isn't sure how to do that, but he'll give it a try. So far he and his dad haven't begun fighting, that's probably a good start. 

"Dad?" Chuck waits until Herc looks at him before he continues. "Can you at least tell me if it was good or bad? There are quite a few people here who are worried." 

Chuck isn't ready yet to openly admit that he's probably the most worried, but he'll let his dad know that he's one of those who worry. Herc probably knows very well that Doc Lightcap, Mako, Tendo and Raleigh are on the top of that list, too. Maybe reminding him that he's not alone helps him feel better. Chuck just hopes that this support thing he's trying to do doesn't backfire. He's not very experienced in supporting his dad, he knows way better how to provoke and hurt him. Now if that isn't a sad balance to strike of their father-son relationship. 

"Good. It was good." His dad says after a moment of quietly holding Chuck's gaze, his voice sounding sad and happy at the same time. He's looking at Chuck as if he's searching for something, but Chuck doesn't have the faintest idea what he could be looking for. Then a smile comes to his dad's face, equally wistful as his voice sounds. "Very good."

A shiver runs down Chuck's back. He can tell there's an entire story behind those two words, but he knows his dad isn't going to tell him. At least not here, not now. 

"I want to share it with him first, you know. Before I tell anybody else." His dad goes on, his voice still holding that wistful quality. 

Okay, Chuck gets that. It was Pentecost's dream, he has the right to learn about it first, before it gets torn apart by the drift lab scientists. Still, Chuck has to make sure that his dad is okay, so he looks at him again. "But it was good."

"Yeah." Herc gives a lopsided smile, but there's still sadness in his eyes. He watches Chuck for a long moment before adding, "You loved it."

It leaves Chuck stunned and lost for words. _He _loved it? He was a part of the drift-dream? But what the heck was he doing in Pentecost's drift-dream? Chuck's mind begins racing without coming to any conclusions. He's staring at his dad in what is probably a very convincing impression of a fish on dry land. There are so many questions popping up in his head that he can't grasp them all, and he knows his dad is not going to say more about it anyway.__

__Herc chuckles, and Chuck is relieved to see the good humour return to his eyes. "Want to eat dinner together tonight, Chuck? I'll ask Mako, too."_ _

__Chuck has still not entirely regained his focus, so he replies automatically, "Yeah. Sure."_ _

__"Good. See you tonight, then. Now get back to the med bay, Ms Sokolov is going to be there soon for the interview."_ _

__"See you later." Chuck mumbles while pushing away from the desk. Usually he wouldn't let his dad get away with ordering him around like that, but Chuck is still preoccupied by trying to make sense of what his dad said about the drift-dream. What the heck?_ _

__When the heavy metal door of the office has closed behind him, Chuck stands in the hallway for a minute or two and tries to shake himself out of it. What a morning. He passes his hand over his face with a sigh. It's _still_ too early for earth-shattering revelations. _ _

__He needs more coffee._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic! I dearly hope someone is still reading this after such a long break... *anxiously gnaws on her fingernails and hopes for the odd comment*
> 
> And to give you something to look forward to, I'll let you know that I have further four fics in the works (so far some 19.000 words). So, yeah, this series is far from over. Let's hope my studies won't interfere as much as they did last year... -_-V


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